


An Island in the Sea

by AstridMyrna



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstridMyrna/pseuds/AstridMyrna
Summary: Cassian and Jyn escape from Hoth, but the future is uncertain.





	1. An Island in the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Jyn escape from Hoth, but the future is uncertain.

Cassian's eyes were closed as his head rested against the durasteel wall of the overpacked cruiser, but Jyn knew he was still awake. His arms were still tightly wound around her frame that curled against his chest, his pulse beating quickly under her ear as he took short but even breaths. Jyn's eyes were wide open and marking each and every exhausted survivor of the Empire's strike at Echo Base. Some nodded their heads with weariness as they spoke in low, somber tones, but most of the men and women slept in whatever layers they were wearing when the evacuation took place.

When he had found her in the cruiser, Cassian threw his parka over her shoulders that shivered under her fatigues and vest, then tucked her into him when he found this sliver of space to rest in. She had held onto him so tightly. He wasn't supposed to be here; he was supposed to be with Intelligence, with the other officers. Yet here he was cradling her, even kissing her cold face in front of the other Rebels like he didn't care who saw.

His lips had pressed against her ear when he whispered, "You need to breathe, Jyn."

Jyn inhaled sharply, the first breath that she remembered taking, and exhaled a moan. The weight of their defeat in Echo Base shattered through her numbness. Cassian threw the parka's hood over her head and his, carving out a dark, private place for her to cry. He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead as she rode out her terror and her grief. The Empire had taken its revenge for the loss of the Death Star, and now the Rebellion scattered into easy to pick off pieces. In a moment they could all be blown into star dust. Did Cassian know that too, and was that why he came to find her instead of staying with Intelligence? What about their friends? What about the rest of the Rebellion? What would they do now?

Cassian held her as she shuddered, listened to her whimpers and answered them calmly. _They were in hyperspace, so the Empire couldn't track them. We have to keep fighting so those who stayed behind didn't die in vain. We have a back up plan. We will rebuild._

"Don't lose hope, Jyn," he said, his voice cracking as if he was barely holding on to that hope as well.

She took a breath and hugged him tightly. "I won't."

That conversation had been at least an hour ago, and her tears had long since dried. She refused to sleep, because she would relive that mad dash to the hangar bay and her imagination would twist out nightmares about the people she left behind. So she watched the others sleep and murmur to each other from the island that Cassian created for her in the sea of dread.

 


	2. We'll Mourn When the Fight Is Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the span of twelve hours Cassian Andor was promoted from major to colonel and learned that Davits Draven was dead.

In the span of twelve hours Cassian Andor was promoted from major to colonel and learned that Davits Draven was dead. Both were the result of the attack on the Mako’Ta Space Docks. Numbers were still coming in, but it looked as though half of the Rebellion’s cruisers and an untold number of starfighters were destroyed and many officers and soldiers had been killed. Mothma ordered the fleet to go into hiding, scattering the original Rogue One across the galaxy, with himself, K-2SO and Jyn travelling with other shaken rebels in a star cruiser hidden in the shadows of a Pantoran moon.

Today had been a terrible blow for the rebellion, but Cassian kept his focus and his face neutral throughout the many meetings with High Command and with his informants. Draven wouldn’t have expected anything less from him. Some officers offered their condolences, which he accepted with a cool politeness that would be expected to come from someone that was in mourning.

When he returned to his quarters, Jyn wasn’t there and K-2SO was in sleep mode as he charged. Cassian let out a sigh of relief; he wasn’t in the mood to hear either of their (probably snarky) opinions. Silently, he stripped off his clothes and threw them in the hamper before heading into the ’fresher. After a sonic and brushing his teeth, he slipped under the covers of his cold bed, closed his eyes, and waited for sleep.

And waited.

And waited.

His mind sifted through old memories, from when Draven first recruited him ( _“You look like someone who wants to make a difference.”_ ) to his first successful mission ( _No smile, but approval in his eyes)_ . Draven had surprised Cassian by visiting him in the medbay after Scarif ( _“Never expected you to go this far to prove me wrong.”_ ) and by figuring out his feelings for Jyn in the same visit ( _“Never expected you to sacrifice everything for a girl either, but I guess you’re full of surprises.”_ ).

He rubbed his stinging eyes and tried to force himself into unconsciousness, but then the lock on his door clicked open and the hallway light spilled inside. He turned to face the wall and breathed long and slow so she would think that he was asleep. She tiptoed past him and into the ’fresher. He listened to the rhythmic vibrations of the sonic and hoped it would lull him to sleep, but he was still awake when she crawled into bed next to him.

Something was wrong. The parts of her body that touched his were stiff, and he could feel her hand hovering just above his ribs. Did she need to tell him something, but didn’t want to wake him up? It was probably about the attack. When he had caught a glimpse of her on his way from one meeting to another, her eyes were emerald fire but her face was pale and worn out. She probably knew some soldiers who had died during the ambush.

Finally her hand curled over his bicep, but he could feel the stiffness in her arm and the tremble in her breath over the back of his neck. He took her hand and cradled it over his chest, hoping that it would comfort her, and her fingers splayed over his heart. For several moments neither said a word.

“I’m sorry.”

Her whisper seeped through the back of his skull and crumbled the walls he had carefully built to keep each emotion separate and manageable. All at once, they crashed into each other until they became a turbulent sea that churned and churned until he broke down from the pressure. The only thing he could feel was Jyn’s strong, steady hand in his grip as he quietly cried.

_“Forget your hurt feelings, Andor. The Empire doesn’t give a damn about them.”_

Damn it all.

_“We have to make the difficult decisions in order to keep the Rebellion alive.”_

He was going to miss him.

_“We’ll mourn when the fight is over.”_

Jyn’s free hand snaked under his ribs and held on to him, leaving Cassian just enough room to turn in her arms and face her. He refused to do it. He forced himself to breathe long and slow, his breath cooling the hot tears that ran down his face. Slowly, slowly, the sea calmed. Cassian would have floated adrift, but Jyn’s arms kept him anchored to the shore. He felt so heavy in her arms.

He woke up without realizing that he’d fallen asleep. Old tears crusted over his eyelids and his hands were empty of Jyn’s. He twisted his head back and caught her sleeping, her arms and legs curled into her and her forehead pressed between his shoulders. Carefully, he turned over his and wrapped his arms around her. She inhaled sharply, then murmured in her sleep as she entwined herself around him.

His eyes drifted closed as he rested his cheek over the crown of her tangled hair, and let the tears prick at his eyes again.

  
  
  



End file.
